Without it, you have nothing
Consent is the most important principle in BDSM and anything to do with sex. Consent is what sets what we do apart from abuse or assault. You will hear of it often in the show because it matters. I write about it often because it matters.
The following are writings that fall under that general description (though they may also be listed elsewhere.)
- April is Male Survivor Awareness Month2017-04-06Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse and Assault Awareness Month With all of the talk about rape culture and sexual assault survivors, we often focus on one specific dynamic of this crime: female victims/male perpetrators. While this may represent a […]
- Retroactively withdrawing consent2017-03-13The morning after; A bitter pill, the bitter truth The idea of retroactively withdrawing consent arose during an episode of The Third Rail on which I was the guest. The episode aired on May 1, 2016. We were talking about unconscious sex (which is a […]
- Consent: How do you take your tea?2017-02-13Tea and Consent By now, I’m sure most of you have heard the tea analogy for consent. If not, you can see it done below. It was put out there as a simple method of understanding consent, but is it enough? I don’t believe it is. It covers […]
- Respect is earned: I can call you Sir?2017-02-06I can call you “Sir”, you say? Are you allowing me to call you Sir? How gracious of you! Really! I just met you but you are being kind enough to grant me a short-cut to a large portion of the process of building relationships, trust and […]
- The 4Cs of BDSM (Episode 13)2016-12-21From “SSC” and “RACK” to the “4Cs”: Introducing a new Framework for Negotiating BDSM Participation. The existing models don’t quite do it. Within the BDSM community, we use phrases like “safe, sane and […]
- Can we stop with the “SSC” already? Please?2016-12-12Is it time to retire “SSC”? I think so. There is a prevailing tendency within our community to look at milder BDSM activities as Safe, Sane, Consensual (SSC) and the rougher/tougher practices as Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK). I have […]
- When People We Know Stand Accused (Episode 5)2016-08-28They stand accused … This episode has nothing to do with BDSM. Recent events involving people in the Toronto, Ontario and Edmonton, Alberta scenes inspired this episode, but there is nothing kinky about the allegations. These people stand […]
- Consent Violations – How do we handle them?2016-07-09Consent: You either have it, or you don’t The hosts of three TPOK Radio shows recently came together to discuss consent within the BDSM community. This is the announcement written by Crazy Heart. You can listen to the discussion by […]
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