Communication and Negotiation

Hold me close Touch. It is a human need and one that many people are craving. We live in the digital age. For many people, an average day involves going to work, then returning home. The bulk of their interactions with friends and family is on-line. […]

My Successful Sexless Marriage I have been married for 25 years. On July 5, 2017, my husband and I will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary and we have a happy, healthy sexless marriage. Sexual Incompatibility – we have that in spades. […]

The morning after; A bitter pill, the bitter truth The idea of retroactively withdrawing consent arose during an episode of The Third Rail on which I was the guest. The episode aired on May 1, 2016. We were talking about unconscious sex (which is a […]

Words mean something Meaning: noun What is meant by a word, text, concept, or action (Oxford Dictionary) We live in this wonderful culture of freedom. Personal freedom, personal expression, they are wonderful things. I love that I can be myself, I […]

I can call you “Sir”, you say? Are you allowing me to call you Sir? How gracious of you! Really! I just met you but you are being kind enough to grant me a short-cut to a large portion of the process of building relationships, trust and […]

From “SSC” and “RACK” to the “4Cs”: Introducing a new Framework for Negotiating BDSM Participation. The existing models don’t quite do it. Within the BDSM community, we use phrases like “safe, sane and […]

Is it time to retire “SSC”? I think so. There is a prevailing tendency within our community to look at milder BDSM activities as Safe, Sane, Consensual (SSC) and the rougher/tougher practices as Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK). I have […]

Tell Me A Story Imagine that you are planning on having a scene with someone. What elements are you considering? Your toys? Your techniques? Where and when? Perhaps, you are contemplating adding psychological elements to your play. These are all […]

Narcissism: The current N-Word It probably isn’t the one you are thinking. There is a new n-word that has risen through the ranks to be the ultimate slur … narcissist. But, is being narcissistic really the evil that it is portrayed to be? Are […]