Cuck you & the whores you rode in on (drove into)
I am a cuck.
This was originally posted on FetLife on November 16, 2015. I removed it during one of my profile purges. I am reposting it now in preparation for my interview with Dr David Ley about cuckoldry.
The following recounts my self-discovery that I am interested in being a cuckquean.
I have a lot of fantasies.
Who doesn’t, right?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m not unusual in that regard … at all.
My early self-discovery
One of my earliest (pleasurable) sexual memories didn’t involve me getting fucked. It was back during the days of high school when I went to a party. Well, a bunch of us ditched class and a party ensued. We affectionately dubbed the party The Love Shack. (It was a popular B-52’s song of the time, so you can do the math.)
I have written about my self-discovery before. 1)most have been posted on FetLife That was the day that I discovered that I love to listen. I hadn’t yet discovered the joys of sex, nor had I learned that I would one day become an exhibitionist. Nope, I spent the time at my very first orgy in an adjoining room having a really hot make-out session with my partner while I listened to the chorus of ecstasy through the open doorway.
Listening has long been one of my favourite senses when it comes to sex. Oh, I love the other senses too, but I am particularly fond of listening. At camp, I will go for late night strolls so I can hear those sounds.
From that day forward, one of my longest-standing fantasies is to listen to my partner fucking someone else. I want to be bound and put into partial sensory deprivation. Oh, I suppose I wouldn’t mind having my sense of smell available to me … because oh, the sweet aroma … but I definitely want to remove the ability to see and touch (even myself).
However, my primary (and currently only) partner is asexual. So, it is extremely unlikely that this will happen with him. So, it has been one of those things that I have tucked away for potential inclusion in a secondary relationship.
At this point, I am starting to think that this is something I will never experience. I have discussed it in my previous relationships. It was doable … hell, it is very easily doable, but it never came to fruition. I have watched a couple of my previous partners, I’ve even eaten the cake after getting semen in my eyes, but I have never been put into a position where their sounds and smells trigger my imagination to fill in the blanks. That’s the part that I enjoy the most when I go a-strolling at camp … I have a vivid imagination and I can paint a colourful picture of what it happening.
I am a cuckquean. I am an acousticophile.
While I do enjoy watching my partners engage sexually with others, I happen to enjoy the aural aspects more than the visual. Some of my hottest memories involve sexual partners telling me, in great detail, about their other sexual encounters … especially while they are fucking me. It doesn’t need to be degrading, though telling me how I compare does take things to a new level. Simply telling me that they are fucking others, maybe even telling me that they had them in this exact position on the bed we are sharing the night before. Hearing the excitement as they relive and recount those experiences. It is powerful.
So to future unknown partners (assuming you actually exist) … cuck you and the whores you drove into … please. No, really, please!
I first read Insatiable Wives, by Dr David Ley, back in early 2010. It was during a dark time in my life. I was deeply depressed and recovering from a psychotic break. While in the hospital, I found this book in the patient lounge. It is part of the reason that I made the decision to live my life authentically. Even though I was undergoing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, I still could not face aspects of my true being. In particular, my sexuality. I had spent years repressing, if not outright denying, that I had sexual urges. I found myself in a long-term marriage with someone who is asexual and I just accepted that as my lot in life.
Reading Dr Ley’s book helped me realise two things:
- I need to accept, then embrace, my sexual needs and I would need to have some of those tough conversations with my husband so that I could live a more fulfilling life.
- Cuckoldry was something that I could identify with. While I didn’t learn that the female version of cuckold was cuckquean until some time after I joined the kink community, I knew that I identified with the men in his book. I wanted to share my partner with others (which is nigh impossible with an asexual partner!) But, I learned that I am not alone. I am not the only one with these urges and desires.
It isn’t an overstatement to say that reading this book changed my life. I just didn’t realise how much it impacted me until years later. It wasn’t the first book I had read about kink or alternative (open) relationships, but it was the first that delved into a topic to which I fully related. Cuckolding.
Dr Ley on Stereo-Typed
David Ley will be joining me on Wednesday, June 21st, 2017 to discuss cuckoldry. I will be posting a promotional piece in the next couple of days. So, stay tuned for more details about the proposed topic and my guest.
Latest posts by Camille Beaujolie (see all)
References [ + ]
|1.||↑||most have been posted on FetLife|