They stand accused …
This episode has nothing to do with BDSM. Recent events involving people in the Toronto, Ontario and Edmonton, Alberta scenes inspired this episode, but there is nothing kinky about the allegations. These people stand accused of a heinous abuse of power and exploitation of people who cannot consent. One thing that sets what we do apart from abuse is consent. So, if the allegations are true, kink isn’t the reason. It is important for us, as a community, to understand that we did not contribute to the abuse. Predators are everywhere, including in the BDSM lifestyle.
Sadly, it isn’t uncommon
This is not an isolated case. People want to believe that it cannot happen to them, in their communities, or involving people they know. I certainly never thought that anything of this size would hit so close to home. But child pornography rings and gruesome murders aren’t the only things that can shake our faith in humanity. Murder, rape, exploitation and abuse are all deeds that humans are capable of. Basically, where there are humans, there is a chance that your life may be affected.
The focus is on healing, as people and a community
The details of the crime are not the subject of this episode. The guilt or innocence of the accused persons is also immaterial. What is pertinent is the feeling of betrayal and resultant self-doubt that comes in the wake of the news that someone who we trusted and respected could do something like this.
But, what does this say about us? As a community, as a sub-culture, as human beings? In communities across the globe, we have had to come face to face with the reality that there are people who do bad things walking among us. In some cases, they work on the fringes of our society, but sometimes, they ARE one of us. How could we not see them for what they are? When someone we know stands accused of monstrous acts, how can we trust our own instincts and gut feelings about others?
What do you need to heal?
In the interest of providing guidance and advice to help us heal and move forward, I have enlisted the help of Dr. Laura Coleman, some of you may know her as a_wild_woman on FetLife. We want to focus on what information you, the listeners, the members of our community, need to heal and move forward in a healthy way. If you have any questions or doubts about what you are feeling, please send them to me through the following methods:
- FetLife: AuntieSocial or Stereo-Typed
- Email: AuntieSocial@stereo-typed.com
- Anonymously: I created an anonymous survey. You can send your question(s) without any identifying data being collected or stored.
- Live Chat: Join us live on Spreaker. We will be trying to keep an eye on the chat for any questions that might arise during the show.
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